


Dog vs Dog

by PurpleMaple



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hayate and Roy wanting to be the center of Riza's attention, Hayate being innocent, Humour, Lots of time jumps, Royai - Freeform, all over canon and post canon, and Roy just being a dork, and all she sees is her boy's being goofy, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-08-21 05:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16570529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMaple/pseuds/PurpleMaple
Summary: Amestris' most famous dogs compete for a certain Lieutenant's affections and mayhem ensues. A series of one-shot's centered around Colonel Roy Mustang and Black Hayate. Set mostly in the manga/fmab universe. Hint's and obvious Royai.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of the Colonel and Hayate fighting for Riza's affection has been with me for a while, and I just the idea of the trouble they can get into. ENJOY!

"Come on Hayate, I'm not going to hurt you. I just need you to come with me." Roy’s tone was calm as he slowly approached the dog, a towel draped between his outstretched arms. He avoided using the dreaded ‘B’ word.

Riza's words repeated in his head like a mantra.

'Remember to keep a tight hold on his leash, he gets excited when he sees mud. And he's stronger than he looks.'

Roy mostly remembered scoffing at the idea. Hayate was only a few weeks old, he couldn’t be that strong.

Oh, how wrong he’d been.

"Hayate, it's just water. Don't you want to be nice and clean when your mom gets back?”

Hayate sat calmly, his head tilted to the side at the mention of his master. His dark eyes barely distinguishable against the mud embedded deeply into his thick fur, he stuck his tongue out in doggy glee.

'I should jump him now while he’s calm. 1.. 2.. 3!'

Roy quickly lunged at the dog...only to land flat on his stomach. Hayate was already on the other side of Riza’s small apartment.

“Why did Fuery pick today of all days to be sick?!” Roy groaned as he slowly got up on his knees and crossed his arms, eyeing Hayate as he did so.

“You know your mom isn’t going to like that you got dirty and messed up her apartment.”

That seemed to get Hayate’s attention as his ears flattened against his head as he bowed forward.

'You’ve shown your hand, my dear friend.'

“I know you’re upset about Hawkeye being gone, but Catalina has dragged her out shopping. And I know I’m not as fun as Fuery but I know your mom wouldn’t be happy to know you didn’t listen to me.”

Roy tried to hide his satisfied smirk as Hayate ducked his head further in doggy guilt.

“Now come here Black Hayate so I can wash you up.”

Hayate slowly got up and walked over to him.

“That’s a good boy,” Roy spoke with pride as he went to scoop up Hayate “now let’s give you a bath.”

As soon as he spoke, he knew he messed up. Hayate quickly darted away when he realized what going with the Colonel meant.

Roy was able to grab Hayate around the chest but quickly let go when the dog gave a loud yip, afraid he had hurt the poor puppy. He watched as Hayate darted away, he laid down fully on the ground in defeat.

After a while, Hayate came out of his hiding spot and crept into the small living room. He noticed the dark-haired man was lying face down on the floor. He didn’t appear to be moving. He slowly approached and took a chance by sniffing his head. Yup, still alive. Hayate proceeded to sniff around the man before he was abruptly lifted off the ground and was quickly thrown in the bathtub, the psychotic man soon joining him.

Roy quickly turned on the water as Hayate tried desperately to grasp the edge of the tub to make his escape. He quickly grabbed some of Hayate’s soap and began lathering it into the frantic pup's fur.

“Cut me some slack here Hayate! Let me prove to Hawkeye that I can do this!”

Hayate continued to scramble around the porcelain tub.

“That’s an order Second Lieutenant! I command you to sit!”

That got Hayate’s attention, and the pup immediately sat down. Roy let out a sigh of relief as he could now calmly wash the mud from his fur. Even though his shirt and trousers were soaked, he relished in the calm and actually took the moment to study the pup.

He could clearly see why Fuery had taken the pup in during the rainstorm. Those brown eyes were irresistible, much like his owners. Roy quickly shook his head of THAT thought, now wasn’t the time or place, and he returned himself to his task. Even through the dirt, Hayate’s fur was still incredibly soft, and who could resist those little ears?! 

Once the runoff from Hayate’s fur was no longer brown Roy reached over for the towel he hastily discarded when he first charged through.

“Now that is over with, let’s dry you off.” As he was about to wrap the pup up in the towel Hayate got a burst of energy and launched himself out of the tub and out the door that Roy forgot to close in his haste.

“Just my luck. Hayate! COME HERE!”

Roy tried desperately to not slip on the hardwood floor as he skidded after Hayate. Both having trouble nearly colliding with furniture. When Hayate booked it around the couch to fast he slipped in a puddle, but before he would crash into the floor he was swept up and smothered with a towel.

“Yes, victory is mine Black Hayate! Now to finally dry you off before Hawkeye gets home.”

“It’s a little late for that sir.”

Both Roy and Hayate froze and slowly turned to the front entrance to see Riza standing there with her arms full of bags.

“Hi Lieutenant, how was shopping with Catalina?” Roy spoke nervously as he gently placed Hayate on the ground so he could greet his master.

“Sir, is there a reason why both you and my living room floor are soaked? And why is Black Hayate wet as well?” Riza asked as she bent down to deposit her bags before scooping the small pup up.

Hayate knew that his master's attention was fully on him and wagged his tail excitedly, once Riza had picked him up he nestled into her neck and closed his eyes contently. Much to the annoyance of the sopping wet Colonel.

“Care to answer my question Colonel?”

“Well, it all started when I decided to take Hayate for a walk…”

-/-/-

“Hayate heal! The park isn’t going anywhere!” Roy tried to pull Hayate back without hurting him. But Hayate was determined to get to the park as quickly as possible. Not caring if the Colonel was struggling to keep up with the small puppy’s questionably rapid pace.

Roy just rolled his eyes as he sped up his gait and let Hayate lead him to one of East Cities many parks. Both the Colonel and puppy slowed down when they finally entered the park.

Roy let Hayate sniff around a section of bushes as he looked around the park. It was Saturday so many families were enjoying the sunny afternoon. It had rained the previous night, and both Roy and others were trying their best to keep their dogs and children out of the muk.

“That’s a cute dog there mister. What’s its name?”

Roy snapped out of his trance and looked over to see a little girl standing beside him. Her large hazel eyes were glued to Hayate as he finished his business and trotted back over to meet the child.

“His name is Black Hayate.” Roy responded as he watched the small child reach out a hand to let Hayate sniff.

“May I pet your dog? My mommy says you have to ask before petting a stranger’s dog.”

“Yes, you can pet him.” Roy smiled at the little girl's enthusiasm as she gave Hayate scratches behind the ear and chin.

“Mary! There you are! Don’t go running away from me like that!”

Roy and Mary both looked up to see a tall red-headed woman making her way over to the pair. A scowl etched on her face.

“I'm sorry mommy! But I wanted to see the dog! This man said I could pet him!”

“I’m terribly sorry about my daughter, Mister?”

“Mustang, Roy Mustang.” Roy spoke.

“Mustang… as in Colonel Roy Mustang?”

'I knew I shouldn’t have said that.'

“Yes, I am Colonel Roy Mustang.” The way her face brightened made him nervous.

“It’s such an honour to meet you, you hear all these stories.” He knew that look and forced himself to stop from rolling his eyes.

“I can assure you, the papers tend to exaggerate.” He tapped Hayate’s back leg with his foot. He was Riza’s dog and therefore a genius, right?

He was just like his owner though, sitting down and watching him try to get out of a jam without Riza’s help. If he didn’t know any better the pooch was entertained.

“Not some things, Mr. Mustang.” She gave him a long, approving up and down. “You’re much more handsome than the pictures they print you know.” She looked about ready to eat him alive and Roy cleared his throat, reaching for his watch and flipping it open.

“I’m late to get him back to my fiancée, apologies. She’ll be worried I let him run off.” He gave her a trademark Mustang smile, which while almost automatic, didn’t help his case.

“It was nice meeting you, ma’am.”

Roy quickly turned and lead Hayate away from the mother and daughter pair, putting as much distance between them as possible.

“Well, that couldn’t have gotten any weirder. Don’t date Hayate.”

Roy looked down at his companion who didn’t really seem interested in the conversation, rather taking interest in the obscenely large mud puddles.

“Hayate no. Hawkeye said no mud for you. Now let’s go back home.”

Hayate stopped in the middle of the path, causing the Colonel to stop as well and stare at the puppy.

“Come on Hayate. Let’s go.”

But Hayate wouldn’t move an inch, he decided to sit instead.

“Hayate why are you doing this? I played tug of war with you, I fed you, I took you to the park. What more do you want?” Roy waited as Hayate seemed to contemplate the question before looking over at a puddle of mud.

“No way Hayate. Don’t you think for a second that I would let you NEAR that. We are heading straight home.”

Roy tried tugging on the leash to no success. Hayate wouldn’t budge, he just kept looking longingly over at the puddles.

“Don’t give me that look Hayate, I’m the one in charge here. I’m also your superior officer, therefore, I command you to return home.

Roy would later claim that the little dots above Hayate’s eyes lowered as if to challenge him. Roy raised his own eyebrows before Hayate was gone, the leash ripped from his hands and was halfway to the mud puddles.

“Hayate NO!” Roy yelled, but it was too late. Hayate was already rolling around in the mud, Roy could see it be smothered deeper and deeper into his fur. Turning the white of his fur a deep brown.

“Hawkeye is going to kill me.”

-/-/-

“That’s your story?”

“That’s my story.”

“So you think Hayate was being spiteful towards you because a woman was flirting with you? You shouldn’t let him take advantage of you Colonel. That’s how dogs develop bad habits.” Hawkeye spoke as she walked past the Colonel, Black Hayate still firmly nestled in her arms.

“He yanked his leash out of my hand! What was I supposed to do?!”

“Not let him. He is only a puppy, sir.”

“A freakishly strong puppy! Are you sure he’s not somehow related to the Armstrong family?”

Her laugh could light up the darkest of nights.

“Yes sir, I’m positive Buraha isn’t an Armstrong.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Roy watched as Hayate made direct eye contact with him as he enjoyed Riza’s affection. Making the Colonel scowl.

“Well, I better be going Lieutenant. I’m sorry for the state of your apartment.”

“That is quite alright sir. Thank you for watching Hayate for me.”

“It was my pleasure Lieutenant.” Roy spoke as he made his way to the door. Riza put Hayate down to escort the Colonel out.

“I’m sorry Hayate wasn’t well behaved.”

“He’s still a puppy Lieutenant. Besides, he seems to be quite taken with you.”

“Yes, I guess he has.” Riza spoke fondly as she turned back into the apartment to give the small dog a smile.

“Good night Lieutenant.”

“Good night Colonel. And don’t think I won’t forget you using the Fiancee card.”

The smile she gave him before the door separated them stuck with him for the rest of the week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this site always gives me trouble with italic's, any thoughts will be marked by ' '. Hope you enjoy some more Roy vs Hayate!

He remembered the phone ringing. He almost didn’t answer, being too engrossed in a very interesting alchemical text he had been searching for. He recalled the slight edge in his tone when he answered. The voice that replied, to anyone else, would sound completely composed, but to him, it screamed panic. He had his coat on and was out the door heading for his car as soon as he hung up the phone. The drive passed in a blur and he only vaguely remembered pounding on a door. It opened and he was quickly pulled inside the small apartment.

“What’s the matter Hawkeye?” Roy quickly turned around and felt his heart sink. 

Riza had her hair down but it was in disarray as if she had been combing her hands through it in haste. She still had her uniform on but decided to toss her coat aside, leaving her in only her brown turtleneck and issued pants, her waist cape was also discarded. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes showed her intense worry. She walked past him and further into her apartment, Roy on her heels. 

When Roy caught up to her, Riza was sitting on the floor in front of the couch. It was then he noticed that Hayate had his head in her lap, the dog looked up at him with what he could only be described as distress. Roy immediately sat down beside his Lieutenant and reached out to scratch the dog’s ears.

“What happened Hawkeye?” 

Roy watched Riza as she seemed to contemplate how to answer. Pain and confusion swirled behind those enchanting mahogany eyes. She didn’t look up from Hayate as she answered.

“Hayate didn’t seem to act any different than usual until I got home and he seemed really sluggish, then I noticed the wrapper. I didn’t even know I had that in my bag. Rebecca must have slipped it in there when we went out for lunch. I called the vet, and since it didn’t appear that Hayate had eaten that much, she just said to watch him for a bit, maybe dry some Hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting. But… I’m scared. I don’t want to lose him.” 

“You won’t lose him Riza. He cares about you too much to leave you alone.” As Roy was about to reach up and put his arm around her shoulders, Hayate whined and nuzzled into Riza. She took that as a cue and nuzzled his head more. Roy tried to smoothly put his arm down, trying to not make the situation awkward. 

“That dog is too much like you to let something as small as chocolate get the best of him. He picked up on your stubbornness.” 

This made Riza laugh, though it was quiet, almost a whisper. She bumped his shoulder with her own.

“I know. I just… hate seeing him like this. Knowing I can’t do much.” 

Roy took the risk and placed his hand on her knee.

“He knows you’re doing your best.”

“I just wish I could take some of his pain for him.”

They were both quiet as they watched Hayate doze.

“From what I can remember, you’ve always been a sucker for a piece of chocolate.” Roy tried to lighten the mood, he noticed the corner of Riza’s lips quirk at the memory.

“Especially the chocolate from Creta that your Aunt would send us.”

“If I remember correctly I hardly got any since you swiped my package before I got the chance to open it.” He spoke fondly as he raised a hand to his chin. 

“It was really good chocolate, I couldn’t resist.”

Roy couldn’t help but lean more comfortably against the couch behind him, Riza’s weight which had previously been supported by his side, followed until her head rested against his shoulder. Roy waited for his Lieutenant to move, in order to save face. But to his surprise, she kept it there. With nowhere to put his hand, he gently laid it on her leg. 

As soon as Roy was comfortable with Riza he felt something cool under his hand. He slowly opened his eyes and looked down to see Hayate nudge his hand off Hawkeye’s leg, the dog’s head replacing it.

Roy could feel the scowl appear as he stared at the dog. And he felt jealousy surge through him when Riza started scratching his head.

'He’s a sick dog Roy you can’t kick him out. He’s a sick dog Roy you can’t kick him out.'

Roy was brought out of his inner thoughts by a gentle voice.

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Sure, thank you.”

As Riza got up from her spot on the floor and headed to her small kitchen, Roy turned his attention to Hayate as he spoke in a harsh whisper.

“Okay listen here, you don’t seem nearly as sick as Riza believes you to be. And I have reason to believe you are greatly over exaggerating. This isn’t fair to her. Now, what’s going on with you?!”

He waited for some kind of sign from Hayate that he was actually better than he seemed. But the dog just huffed at him before putting his head back down and falling asleep.

“You’re lucky you’re sick, or else I would have given you a more stern talking.”

Roy harrumphed and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked away from the dog. He watched as Riza came back into the room with 2 cups of tea, passing him one before sitting in front of Hayate... Much to Roy’s distaste.

“I remember when you got him. The look you were giving Fuery the entire day, I knew you would scoop him up eventually. I’m just surprised you didn’t when you first saw him.”

“I am too. Though you seemed pretty upset when I took him from you, I’m surprised Hayate wasn’t sick afterward from all the jerky movements.”

'Not being able to keep Hayate wasn’t the only reason for my sour mood.'

“What can I say, I really like dogs.”

Once again, Riza’s gentle laugh seemed to brighten up the dark atmosphere. 

“You know, I see you trying to sneak him dog treats under your desk, you’re not as sneaky as you think.”

“He never took them anyway. He only seems to like the ones you or Fuery give him. I don’t understand it, I got the most organic kind!”

“He just likes to annoy you. You know he likes you.”

“Not as much as you.”

Hayate chose that time to nudge Riza’s hand again, both Roy and Riza laughed at the dog.

“You’re a good boy Buraha.”

“JUST Hayate?” Roy asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

Riza chuckled as she ran her hand through Roy’s hair.

“You’re a good guy to Roy.”

Hayate once again nuzzled into Riza’s leg, cutting their moment short. Hawkeye once again focused on her dog while Roy was left to glare at the sick dog.

The two soldiers stayed up as long as they could, with Riza’s focus mainly on Hayate and Roy alternating between glaring at Hayate and creating conversation to keep them both awake. The last thing Roy remembered as he gave in to his droopy eyes was the calming smell of Riza’s hair as he finally gave in to his exhaustion.

The following morning Roy awoke to a crick in his neck. The soft head of hair he was using as a pillow was gone. He popped his neck as he stood up. He looked around the room, noticing that Hayate wasn’t there as well.

He rolled his shoulders as he made his way around the small wall to the kitchen. When he entered, he noticed Hayate eating out of his bowl.

“You must be feeling better Hayate.” 

Hayate didn’t look up from his dish as he continued to eat.

“Glad to know this didn’t upset your appetite too much.” Roy rolled his eyes as he got some coffee mugs down from the shelf and proceeded to make himself and Hawkeye a cup.

He glanced up from his cup of coffee to see Riza emerge from the bedroom, hair damp and a light blue towel draped around her shoulders. She was already dressed for the day. 

“Morning.”

“Morning,” Roy gave her a smile as he handed her a cup. “Hayate seems to be doing better.”

“He does. I called the vet this morning. And they said if he shows any more signs to bring him in, but he’s probably alright.”

“He must of either passed it or thrown it up.” Roy said with a shrug and took another sip of his drink.

“If he did, the question is.. where.”

Roy and Riza gave each other a worried look before putting down their coffee and checking around the apartment.

“Did you find anything, sir?” 

“I certainly did.”

Riza quickly approached where Roy was standing in the hall.

“Where?”

“In my shoe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Also please consult your vet if your pet does eat chocolate. Don't just rely on what the internet says. Have a good one!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not just Mustang that is having troubles with Hayate. A certain Fullmetal Alchemist, unfortunately, gets swept up in the rivalry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any lines that start and end with ' ' are internal thoughts since this site hates me when I try to use italics.

“Where is the research paper Mustang?! The clerk at the library said you were the last one to borrow it!”

Edward stood in all his fuming glory on the other side of Colonel Mustang’s desk, arms crossed and platform shoes tapping in barely contained anger. Mustang sat back in his chair a pen loosely grasped in his hand, paperwork long forgotten. 

“Yes, I did take out the paper Fullmetal. What about it?” Mustang asked, eyebrows raised. 

Edward rolled his eyes before continuing.

“I need it.” Edward demanded.

Edward saw the smirk appear on Mustang’s face as he placed his pen down and leaned forward to match Edward’s stance.

“Say the magic word and I’ll give it to you.” 

Edward scrunched up his face further in anger.

“I’m not a child Mustang, let me have the research paper.”

“I believe the word you are looking for begins with a ‘P’.” Mustang put a hand around his ear and leaned forward. “I’m waiting Fullmetal.” Edward continued to fume at Mustang’s clear amusement.

“Do I have to ask Lieutenant Hawkeye to get me the paper?” Edward taunted.

“Jokes on you Fullmetal, she’s out of the office for the afternoon. Now say the word.”

“I refuse.”

“Oh come on. Alphonse has better manners than you! No wonder people always think he’s older.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HIS MANNERS ARE THE EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF AN UNEDUCATED INFANT?!”

“Easy there Fullmetal, we don’t need all of Amestris to hear about your problems! All you have to do is say ‘please’ and the paper is yours!” Mustang hollered over Edward's short rant.

Edward took a few calming breaths to bring his temperature down before saying through gritted teeth.

“May I… please have the research paper?”

“There was that so hard?”

“It was excruciating.” 

Mustang shook his head as he reached over into his drawer to look for the paper. Edward stood in agitation as he watched Mustang go from looking in his drawers to moving papers and files on his desk.

“That’s odd.”

“What’s odd Colonel Bastard?”

“I can’t seem to find the paper. I know I left it on my desk.”

“Oh great. Now we can add disorganized to your list of uselessness.”

“Watch it Fullmetal,” Mustang warned as he looked through more of the papers and files on his desk. 

“Where else could you have put it?”

“Maybe it got swept up in some papers that were distributed to the team this morning.” Mustang got up and lead an extremely annoyed Edward out to the main office area where the rest of Team Mustang, minus Hawkeye, were working.

“Men I have a question for you.” Mustang waited for all eyes on him before continuing, “I seem to be missing a research report and was wondering if any of you have come across it?”

The men seemed to share a look before looking through their own piles of papers and files, all coming up empty.

“Sorry, sir.” They all collectively said. Edward slumped and rolled his head to the side, trying to figure his next course of action when he spotted Hayate chewing something.

“Hey, Colonel? Does the Lieutenant normally give Hayate bones shaped like that?”

Mustang looked over at the dog and immediately paled.

“Black Hayate!” Everyone in the room immediately jumped at the authoritative tone the Colonel used towards the dog. Said dog only paused in his chewing on the edge of the paper, looking at the Colonel with his big brown eyes, before going back to his chewing.

“Second Lieutenant I command you to release those papers immediately!”

“Wait you gave Lieutenant Hawkeye’s dog a rank?” Edward questioned.

“He sure did, he even outranks Falman and Fuery.” Breda said through a laugh. 

Edward hid a laugh behind a cough before returning his attention to the Colonel and Black Hayate.

“Black Hayate come here and give me the papers.”

Edward gave the Colonel an unamused look.

“What have you done to the Lieutenant’s dog Colonel?”

“ME?! Why do you think I’ve done something to him?!

“Because I know for a fact that the Lieutenant trained Hayate well. He wouldn’t just be chewing the papers randomly, you clearly have done something to either the dog or the Lieutenant herself.”

“That does sound like a possibility.” Falman added, only to be shot down by the Mustang’s menacing glare.

“The Lieutenant and I have a very respectable relationship and Black Hayate does not determine our standings!”

“Are you implying that there is a more serious aspect to you and the Lieutenants relationship?” Havoc asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk around his unlit cigarette.

“Focus back on the dog who is eating an alchemical text!” Mustang demanded though Edward made note of the rose colour on the Colonel’s neck and his ears.

“You know Colonel, you’ve seemed to have developed an almost rivalry with Black Hayate sir.” Fuery commented as he looked back and forth between the dog and Colonel.

“I am not competing with Black Hayate for the Lieutenant.” Mustang seethed.

“No one said anything about the Lieutenant.” Falman pointed out, this caused the red to travel further up the Colonel’s neck into his face.

“Well neither did I!”

The men continued to bicker over the Colonel’s anger or embarrassment that they didn’t register the knocking at their office door and it slowly opening.

“Colonel Mustang, sir? The Lieutenant has asked me to..”

“HAYATE! NO!”

Before anyone could react Hayate had taken the papers and slipped through under the Sargents legs and into the hallway, Edward’s cry immediately snapped the other officer’s to attention. Mustang noticed Edward’s red coat disappear around the corner after Hayate and immediately followed. 

Everyone walking in the halls immediately launched out of their way as Hayate, Roy, and Edward tore through.

“Give us the papers Hayate!” Edward hollered 

Roy and Edward would swear that to this day Hayate looked over his shoulder and gave the men a challenging look before speeding down the halls.

“That does it!” Roy looked over and saw Edward’s hands clapped together and then him touching the wall, a wall of rock quickly formed in front of Hayate further down the hall.

“Got you now!” Edward yelled, before staring in awe as Hayate easily bounded over the apparently to short wall.

“What kind of dog is he?!”

“Just focus on trying not to hurt him or destroying the Command Centre Fullmetal!”

They continued to chase Hayate through the halls before Hayate took a wrong turn and came to a dead end.

“Finally..we.. got..you..” Edward wheezed. The Colonel in a similar predicament.

The dog looked around before turning his attention to the two soldiers his tail wagging excitedly, the paper still clenched in his jaw.

“Hayate, that is a very important paper. And Fullmetal needs it. Please hand it over.” The Colonel slowly approached the dog, his hands in front of him in the hopes of pleasing Hayate.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have kids Colonel because your negotiation skills suck.”

“I don’t see you doing anything Fullmetal! All you have done is destroy military property, which means I’m going to have more paperwork to fill out.”

“Focus on that after we retrieve the paper! Now Hayate, you clearly won’t listen to the Colonel. Could you please bring me the paper?”

“Oh, you say please to the dog.” Mustang grumbled.

“Because I spent most of my childhood with Winry’s dog Den and because I respect dogs as creatures.”

Edward looked over at Mustang’s raised eyebrow look.

“Okay I may come off as rude but at least I respect animals.” Edward grumbled before turning his attention back to Hayate.

 

Mustang and Edward slowly approached Hayate, the simply dog stood there. Drool falling from his jaws. Before they could even lunge at Hayate he ran between their legs and back down the hall.

“Where is he even going?!” Edward slumped his shoulders as he watched Hayate slide around the corner.

“How would I know?!” 

“The dog is practically yours!”

“That dog has had it out for me since the moment I scooped him up into my arms!”

“Maybe that’s the problem! He didn’t like being scooped!”

“Just go get the dog!”

Mustang and Edward ran in the direction Hayate ran. Though they couldn’t seem to locate the dog.

“Great we lost the paper.”

“That’s all you care about Fullmetal?! The Lieutenant is going to bring the roof down on me for losing her dog!”

“This day just keeps getting better and better!”

“Could I possibly help with turning this day around for you both?”

Edward and Mustang whipped around and saw Hawkeye standing with Hayate cradled in her arms, the paper secure in her other hand.

“LIEUTENANT!” Both Mustang and Edward yelled in relief. Edward lunged forward to take the paper from Hawkeye’s hand but the paper was pulled out of his reach.

“Hey, what gives?!”

“I could hear you two tearing through the halls. You know if you just asked Hayate to, he would have dropped your papers. You didn’t have to destroy half of the Command Centre.” Hawkeye scolded.

Mustang and Edward exchanged an incredulous look before bursting. Hawkeye merely watched unamused as the Colonel and Edward tried to say their side of the story over the other’s yells. Hawkeye looked at Hayate in her arms, the dog looking back at her with an innocent look.

“Colonel. Edward.” Riza waited until both of the alchemists looked at her, she waited until they caught their breath before continuing.

“I can see both of you are a little,” she paused when she saw Edward’s shoulder tense, “anxious so I will give you the paper on one condition.”

She waited until both of her boys to nod before continuing.

“I want you both to apologize to Hayate.”

“WHAT?!” Both of them hollered, passerby simply continued with their tasks, completely used to the disturbance.

“You chased my dog around the entire Command Centre for a paper that you could have easily gotten from him if you were calm. He was probably scared, especially when you used alchemy on him. Now apologize.”

Both Roy and Edward slumped their shoulders in defeat.

“Sorry Black Hayate.” Both said in sync. Hawkeye smiled before handing the paper over to Edward who took it with a smile and a not so subtle glare at Hayate before dashing down the hall to find his brother. Which left the Colonel and Lieutenant. The former glaring daggers at the dog in her arms.

“This behaviour is quite unbecoming of you Colonel.”

“I think Fullmetal is rubbing off on me.”

“I think so too. Now come on, you still have paperwork to finish.” Hawkeye gave Mustang one of her small smiles before calmly walking back towards the office, the Colonel trailing behind her.  
Mustang sat down at his desk while Hawkeye returned to hers, she set Hayate down on the ground, giving him a few scratches under the chin before turning to her work. Roy glared at Hayate who simply curled up against Hawkeye’s feet.

'Lucky mutt'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! You can find me on tumblr @purplemaple-xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this brought a smile to your face! Until next time!!


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